Yesterday, in regards to my post on exercise, I received a couple of comments about my motivation. I thought this was really interesting and a good topic to write on.
Truthfully, my motivation resides in what I believe will keep me alive the longest. That’s an unfortunately morbid way of looking at it, but I’ve spent a majority of my life seeing my sister sick and being scared of ever getting that sick myself.
That’s a weird feeling: to fight so hard against this disease with the realization that I’m fighting to avoid my sister’s fate. That’s what’s different about our strengths. Her strength was despite all she went through; my strength is to prevent what she went through.
Alyssa has always been my motivation. For a long time, it was just to capitalize on my healthier baseline and trying my best to avoid a steep decline. Now, its to avoid that, but it’s also to fight in honor of her. I’ve struggled with bouts of depression where I didn’t take care of myself in terms of exercise or sleep, but now I find motivation in knowing that I feel like she’s no longer fighting her disease and she’s on my side, fighting this with me. I find my motivation through her and I always have. I think I always will.
I don’t believe I’m qualified to comment on this, but I suppose my advice for finding motivation comes down to this: find whatever it is that makes you want to be alive forever. And when you find that, find ways to maximize that feeling. I know I’ve struggled with this a lot, but remembering how Lyss didn’t have that luxury the last five years reminds me to be grateful for what I have too.
Motivation comes from within. You will never achieve anything if you don’t first want to accomplish it in your heart. Most achievements require the help of others, but it’s critical to find that initial motivation within. I fall short every single day. But I’m accepting of those shortcomings and I make it a priority to be better after recognizing those shortcomings.